NovelAI gallery
Let's see if I can pull all the NovelAI pictures I requested in a single journal entry so I can get all of them sorted and see which ones are left to make:
Upon A Star:
Female characters:
1- Karyana
2- Lady Xera and her Awakened Form
3- Alphea
4- Lupa
5- Melody and her Melothios form
6- Kaina
7- Laurinya
10- Sayeth
11- Asuna
12- Allision
13- Laetitia Vawdrey
14- Bai
15- Naksha Seluhin
16- Aerona
17- Meilin Kasma
18- Lily
19- Ysalfa
20- Prolectae
21- Panyus
22- Saena Kasma
23- Llaelyn
24- Ailyn Valkyr
25- Genevieve
26- Meridith
27- Sarah
28- Demelza
29- Valara
30- Sophia
31- Aurea
32- Elany Windforge
33- Aerin Greenleaf
34- Anthra
35- Apocyne
Male characters:
1- Demyan Merid
2- Progeny
3- Raemu
4- Scyens
5- Eligius
9- Xelnos
10- Iron-Chain Pison
11- Thivalt
12- Rauz Grayheath
13- Oerbus
14- Father Korgan
16- Yu Shaia
17- Eredric Destine
18- Devathion
19- Nell
20- General Thomas
21- Tarl Ironwright
23- Xamaris of Cald
24- The Anarch
26- Arius Greenleaf
27- Ermanho
28- Lyzar Shardoak
29- Cunon
The Worldmenders' Saga:
Female characters
2- Merka
3- Larxinia
4- Hayi
5- Rhea (in fairy form) and centaur form
7- Siria
8- Monica and her Awakened form
9- Lady Melne
10- Maria
11- Ayoya
12- Chixa Ma
13- Jade Belotrix
14- Dame Kinin
15- Ayemi
16- General Dragonix
17- Mai'Tiris
19- Masa Sanake
22- Queen Sesala
23- Milim Sanake
24- Valeria
25- Kharamella
26- Melusine Nova
27- Lady Iei
28- Viti
29- Mother Superior Claire Sorcera
Male characters:
1- Resham and his Awakened form
6- Father Krem
8- Sargeant Malcolm Felix Haida
9- Owen Graves
10- Waerizi
11- Diskai
12- Melothios (Elemental form)
13- Alex
14- Wish
16- Lord Zaya Karsh
17- The Great Brujh
18- Rikki
19- Ralos
20 - Rianar
Asha's story:
2- Asha
3- Luriah
Dawn's story:
1- Dawn
2- Levi
Autopsy of a failure
The first third of 2024 passed... and it's turning out to be another failure for now.
My plans for the year were simple:
- Lower my coffee intake by leaving my powders at work and not buy energy drinks;
- Save money by not buying energy drinks, reducing my spending on games, and sticking to essentials;
- Lose weight;
- Sleep better;
- Take time to write.
So far, I failed all of them.
1- My coffee intake has reached a point where I need to take at least two doses of power a day. With GamerSupps providing 100mg, C4 pre-workout providing 150mg, and my latest pre-workout at an insane 275mg of caffeine per serving, I end up taking on average two doses of GamerSupps on an off-day, and two doses of C4 or one of the pre-workout and one of GamerSupps to do my night shifts.
2- Ever since I got back on "Mergest Kingdom", I actually spent MORE money in games, including spending for the latest packs in "Master Duel".
3- I end up changing little to what I eat. Partly because my folks always make too much food and also that I constantly tell myself that I would switch my diet once I'm done with what I have... only to buy more of the same or grab the same stuff from my folks.
4- I end up waking up at least once in the middle of the night - mostly to go to the bathroom - and end up not sleeping full nights, thus requiring caffeine to function normally. Also, I end up sleeping about 3 hours before and after work, and the rest of the week is not enough to recover. I can't change that because the other workers will simply do not want to change their schedules.
5- Due to being tired most of the time and busy with games and work, I barely spent time exercising, let alone writing. The fact that the most likely scenario will be for me to start "Remembered Eternity" over completely just feels like added weight to an already crushing state of mind.
6- The sheer boredom at work and constant access to YouTube and online games (including a new run of 'Mergest Kingdom' where I can't spend money) ends up eating up my time, which I should be putting on my story.
This ends up as self-fulfilling cycle of failure. Lack of sleep leads to lack of energy, which leads to lack of motivation and over-consumption of caffeinated drinks and sugary food to stay awake, which leads to no weight loss and even lower motivation. Constant discord over the story also drags me down... and sometimes leaves me unable to sleep properly.
It feels like I need to wipe the slate clean to get back on track...
Conflicting wishes
While looking back at the previous version of "Remembered Eternity", I remembered one of the explanations in "In Stars and Time".
For context, in "In Stars and Time", one of the things that the main character Siffrin does at the beginning of the game is make a wish at the Favor Tree to be there for his friends once the quest to defeat the King is done. What he doesn't know is that previously, the population of Velgarde also made a mass wish to the Favor Tree, wishing for the King's defeat.
However, this ends up creating a major issue: Siffrin's wish to be with his friends ends up conflicting with the wish to save Velgarde as, once the King is defeated, the group make plans to go on their separate ways. This means that the King cannot be defeated without the group being together - thus anything that would split the group apart would break the wish -, but the moment the King is defeated, the group would break up, which would break Siffrin's wish. Therefore, Siffrin ends up in a time loop over two days where he can alter events during the loop, but the final result remains the same until either both conditions are met and the cycle ends, or one condition is not met and the cycle repeats itself.
A similar issue is happening in the "Upon a Star" series. Before Medierth, several wishes were made, each of them contradicting one another:
- Roger Evans' wish for the people he loves to be saved;
- Mark Silnorov's wish for the world to be saved;
- Anna Evans' wish for their family to be happy together;
- Elizabeth Evans' wish for her mother to die, which later changes to her wishing to be protected from him;
and so on.
This ends up causing a series of contradictions that end up creating Medierth:
- Roger Evans and 'the people he loves' become the Planars;
- Remnants of the Old World still exist (the 'Black Eggs' - nukes - and Lupa's weapon collection);
- "Melody" dying after the world's change and Merit taking over Reveen temporarily, leading to Lupa killing him off later... which goes against Asuna's wish;
- Dawn and Asha being later born... to become Lupa and Asuna's new selves.
In "Remembered Eternity", there is several contradictions that remain:
- Melody is alive, but so is Karyana... though Karyana's is one foot in the grave due to overuse of 'Second Genesis'.
- The remnants of the Old World were previously used to destroy Medierth...
And there is also Keith's wish to take Karyana and have Demyan - who is the last incarnation of Reveen's essence - die.
And with Panyus now part of Karyana, it honestly feels like, should the smallest thing go out of line, the timeline would shatter - something that nearly happened in "In Stars and Time" after Siffrin nearly goes insane and becomes sick due to overuse of magic and the constant loops, having to use all of his power into one last wish to break the cycle.
The issue I unfortunately see happening? Even if Karyana does what Keith / the Anarch wants her to do, should Merit's own wish happen, there will be no way for her to save Medierth...
Addiction at the point of a gun
I'm honestly surprised by how much traction the game "Buckshot Roulette" has had since it released. A simple game that's ridiculously cheap and available on Steam... with some heavy implications.
Not much of a story, but enough to make something. The player begins in the bathroom of a seedy place - a bar, perhaps, or a studio - and after prepping himself (I will use 'him' for now, as we don't see the character at all) walks into a room where a strange smiling figure with needle-like teeth called "The Dealer" welcomes you to his game and has you sign a waiver of liabilities.
The game is as simple as it gets: the Dealer loads a series of bullets - live shells and duds (which he calls 'blanks') in random order, and both the player and "The Dealer" take turns shooting the shotgun. Each has a particular number of 'hits' they can take before losing, with the number changing every round... and the number of shells changing as well.
Starting on the second round, you can tell that things are going dark when you and "The Dealer" are given a box of items you can pull from at each reload of the gun. First off, you find a bloodied waiver signed with "God" in its name... which gives the impression that God played the game and lost. As for the items, they are:
- A pack of cigarettes, which help the turn player recover one 'hit';
- A can of beer, which allows the turn player to remove one shell from the shotgun;
- A set of handcuffs, which forces the opponent to skip a turn;
- A magnifying glass, to see what the next shell will be; and
- A switch-blade with a metal saw, to cut the barrel of the shotgun, allowing you to inflict double damage if you fire a successful shot.
With each item received at random and "The Dealer" receiving an equal amount (but different) items, you have to strategize on the fly to win.
Should the player get shot, a cardiac stimulation will snap the player back to his senses. Should the player lose the round, however, the player will need a blood transfusion and will be forced to restart from scratch.
On the third and final round, things become deadly. Four items each round, and up to 8 shells per round. Plus, if you or "The Dealer" take too much damage, the emergency aid will cease entirely, meaning that the next shot either take will be fatal. Lose, and you end up in a shattered form of 'Heaven', which black spikes and ashes filling the air. Win, and you leave with the gun and a suitcase of money, with the amount starting at 70,000$ and decreasing at every item used and shots fired.
The latest update also allows a "Rush Mode" by taking pain killers. You only have one life to complete all three rounds, will have more items and bullets per round, and will be asked to "Double or Nothing" should you survive.
Aside from the slight eerieness of this game of Russian Roulette, I wouldn't exactly call it a "horror" game. But it does approach the topic of gaming addiction... and how most addictions lead to death.
Fed up
Woke up with a sore back and right shoulder.
Had the runs this morning.
Had to cover for a guy who didn't show up all week.
My work schedule was altered again, but was screwed up.
My driver's permit is on hold because of a lost payment since May 16th, and I only for the paper yesterday.
My computer crashes at least five times every morning or buffers when I am online or play Master Duel.
Had to wait for a guy who parked behind my car to move before I could leave.
Got a 1200$ dental surgery next Friday.
Need to get an appointment for the COVID and Flu shots.
My latest PixAI attempts have all been failures.
I can't get a word across at home or story-wise.
And I have no pleasure in gaming, writing or looking up anything online.
I don't want to hear about Erotic Role-Play, haters, spammers or people me when I'll restarting doing "Deviant" pictures - requests or commissions.
I've got half a mind of scrapping my old pictures... and maybe even starting "Remembered Eternity" over.
Either let me do things the way I want, give me something I actually want to work with... or just leave me alone.
Don't.
I keep getting Notes of the like, and I'm sick of them. If you ever see messages like this in your stuff:
"I hope all is okay with you. I just got the chance to visit your incredible collection of art, and I was truly moved by each and every one of your original creations. Given your exceptional talent, I'm writing to you with a suggestion.I'd be pleased to create a unique piece of art in your honor utilizing my personal style. I'm happy to talk over the details. I go by the handles [DeniseGraphics1] and [laidyzainth] on Twitter and Discord, respectively.I sincerely hope you will accept my invitation, and I am excited about the possibility of collaborating with you to produce something truly exceptional. Your thoughts on this matter are highly anticipated."
Just mark them as Spam and delete them.